Tuesday, June 26, 2012

what can I do?

i seem to think pretty highly of myself.
because when any sort of problem comes,
who do i look to?
me.

i can fix it.
i can do it best.
i can handle it.

most of the time,
i am so sadly mistaken.

i continue to pile myself with burdens that are beyond me-
leaving me weary,
discouraged,
and feeling hopeless.

this is not the type of life that god wants for me.
and he never asked for me to do it all myself.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God,   
the Creator of the ends of the earth. 
He will not grow tired or weary,and his understanding no one can fathom. 
 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;  but those who      hope in the LORD    will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary;  
they will walk and not be faint. 
-isaiah 40:28-31

two days ago, we received an email from our landlords
letting us know the owners are selling our home and we need to move.
we had just decided the best decision for our family was to stay here one more year.
moving just seemed too daunting a task in the midst of our over-busy lives.
looking at a calendar, we realized we had mere weeks to figure it all out.

i immediately transitioned into 'i' mode.
"i need to go home and get on craigslist"
"i need to start sorting things tonight"
"i need to start figuring out childcare"
"i need to find boxes.  change our address. figure out new schools"
"i need to figure out how to pay for moving expenses"
"how am i going to be able to find us a place in the right neighborhood?"

"i can't do this"

i found myself entering into a place of being overwhelmed and anxious.
and then i heard it.
a voice in my head, over and over.
"YOU can't do it.  but I can.  I am doing something.  trust ME."

moving my family in the next three weeks feels impossible for me.
but obviously god is doing something that is making us move.
i don't know what it is, but i know that he has good things for us.

i need to fully trust and believe that the god who created the universe
can also find me a place for my family to live.
the truth is that I cannot do this.
it is too much.
but He most certainly can.

we have under three weeks to find a home, pack everything, and move.
everything in me wants to take over.
but i am desperately trying to allow god to do his work,
so that he might be glorified in this.
i believe that he cares about every detail of our lives,
and desires to be intimately involved.

so god.... we are trusting you.
we know you are doing something in our little family's lives.
help me to submit to you,
and allow you to be my strength in a season of craziness.
i can't wait to see what YOU can do.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

another june 24th

remembering precious tyler today.
we miss you sweet boy.

here is the post i wrote last year on june 24th.
feeling all the same things a year later... and wishing i could be with my friends today.
we love you so, rumley family.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

celebrating his last day

this is a boy who finished kindergarten today!
whoo hoo!
(and thank you, irvine, for the crazy-late last day, right?  most kids are already half-done with summer by now!)

i can't say kindergarten has been an easy year.
there were many days jackson did not want to go,
and it definitely did not live up to the visions i had in my head.

but to say i'm proud of this little boy would be the understatement of the year.
(holding his picture from the first day of school)

jackson entered kindergarten barely writing his name.
now he is writing multiple sentences.

he entered kindergarten counting to twenty.
now he's counting to over 100.  and adding numbers together.

there is not a day that goes by that this sweet kid doesn't amaze me.
with his super-smart brain.
his kind heart.
and his perseverance despite things being difficult.

we felt like today was a day to celebrate.

last week, cars land opened at california adventures.
if you know jackson, you know there are a few things he loves.
and when i say love, i mean love.
(let's be honest.  he is high-functioning autistic.   so love = obsession)
fountains. electronics.... and cars.

for the last four years, 
we have lived and breathed cars in our house.
so when he found out there was going to be a CARS LAND....
 oh man.

he knew it opened on june 15th.
but we were not going to submit ourselves to opening day madness.
we gave him a lot of reasons why we had to wait,
and convinced him we would go in july.

tricky mommy & daddy!
we picked him up from school today
with a new cars t-shirt and no sisters.
just us. 
just him.
ready to experience something we had dreamed about,
talked about, and watched many you-tube videos about.

you would think he would have been over-the-moon excited,
but in truth...
he was kinda a nervous wreck.

first... he does not like the unknown.
it makes him super anxious.
and... there were a lot of people.
and...this was big.  really big for him.  
probably like if i got to go on the set of my favorite tv show or something.
maybe bigger.

he was actually going to go INTO RADIATOR SPRINGS.

friends...
it is amazing.
like, i actually found myself crying walking down the street.
it was like they had taken the movie and plopped it down in the center of california adventures.
(and added a billion human tourists, btw)
like i said... we have lived cars in our house for years now.
so this also held a lot of significance for us.
and it totally lived up to all the hype in my head.

so here are some pics from our time today.
just a few hours, but they really are memories i'll have forever.

experiencing this adventure with my sweet little boy for the first time.
his little hand in mine.
his giant smile when he saw lighting mcqueen driving down the street.
his anxiety before he rode a new ride.
his joy as he rode on his daddy's shoulders and drank his very own sprite that he didn't have to share with his sisters.

it was a good day.
 a really good day.





he was very excited to see the pixar parade, too.
it is super fantastic!
(minus their need to squirt water out of every.single.float.)


he was SO nervous about riding radiator springs racers.
he was terrified that it would be a fast ride, and was in tears as we got on.
but that ride is absolutely amazing.
the best ride at disneyland.
i think he liked it, too.

thumbs up for surviving a new ride!



my jackson orian.
today we celebrate you.

life is not always easy.
but you keep trying.
you teach me to find joy in the little things.
and to work hard, even when life is difficult.

i am so proud to be your mommy.
and i can't believe you are a big first grader now.

let's enjoy the summer first, shall we?

Sunday, June 17, 2012

we think he's super....

anyone who knows my hubby
knows that he loves superheroes.
and spiderman, of course, is his all-time favorite.

he loves to read about them.
watch them.
talk about them.
use them as analogies in his sermons.

recently we found an entertainment weekly up on the bookshelf by jackson's bed 
that had the avengers on the cover.
he was sleeping with it because he knew how much 
daddy loved the avengers movie.
so cute.

i'm sure jeff thinks he loves superheroes just cause they're cool.
but i have a different opinion.
and today is the perfect day to say it.
i think he loves superheroes because deep down....

he is one!
first...
my husband is pretty darn super.
the kind of guy that people look at and say 'wow!'

not only that...
he's definitely a hero.  
especially to our little family.
i spent some time looking up 'superhero characteristics'
and was not surprised to see how many jeff shares with his favorite flying friends.

he is one-of-a-kind.
he is not afraid to be himself, to be unique.

he is selfless.
he puts the needs of others before himself,
and he is the ultimate servant.

he is brave.
he goes on all the fast rides at disneyland without crying!

he is adventurous.
i love that he is always up for trying new things,
and loves to be having fun. 

he has a great sense of humor.
he keeps everyone around him laughing.

he fights for the good guy.
i mean... he's a pastor, right?  ;)

he's trustworthy.
you can rely on him.  always.

he has a weakness.
(it's diet coke and reality tv.)

he has a sidekick....
or three.

he's the ultimate role model.
because i would love for my kids to grow up
and be just like him.
he's definitely a daddy they can look up to.

so happy father's day to our very own superhero.
he may not wear a cape or climb walls,
but i believe what makes him special is far more important.

Friday, June 15, 2012

instadisney

last week some of our besties
the arnolds & the snyder-thompsons came to stay with us.
it was a house-full of crazy, but we had a ton of fun together.

friday we headed to disneyland for a day-o-fun.
we documented using instagram.
(which i am loving.  you can follow me at @sharabachman)

so enjoy a day of disney,
instagram style!




meeting the newest disney princess, merida,
from the movie brave.  can't wait to see it!




the kids had the funniest conversations with the princesses that day.  
and they were so sweet to them.  love.







waiting for the parade!



this is her face any time a character says 'hi' to her during the parade ;)






little girls.  big skirts. lots of attention.






glowsticks during fantastic + fireworks


next morning... sleepy little fairies

and a few more of my favorites from the trip :)
when we were home, the girls were always dressed up.  so cute.

a trip to the farm.  baby cow kisses.



one mom.  five kids at target.
crazy.
this may have been a good picture to depict our weekend ;)

we had a blast!
love you friends.  let's do disney again soon.