isabella kristan :: six years old

today is my beautiful isabella's sixth birthday.  

click here to see the blog i wrote for her on my bachmanville photography site.

seven

this kid.

today he turned seven years old,

which just totally boggles my mind.

jackson made me a mommy.

and in some ways, it is hard to remember life before being a mom.

what did i DO on saturday mornings?  (oh ya... sleep)

i'm sure whatever i was doing, it couldn't compare to being this little boy's mom.

(of course) i love all my children,

but jackson holds a particularly tender spot in my heart.

i don't know if it's because he was my first born,

because of the challenges he has had to face,

or just because he is so darn sweet.

but i frequently find myself tearing up at just the thought of him.

it has been fun to watch him in school this year.

he has found a few friends whom he loves dearly.

he will never be the most popular kid in school,

and he is totally ok with that.

it's interesting to hear him describe kids who aren't friends with him in a very matter-of-fact way. 

where bella would be in tears not having someone want to be her friend,

jackson seems content in solitude.

yet he loves other children, regardless of their feelings towards him.

i recently watched him while volunteering in the classroom.

another child got an award and jackson stood up with his arms raised triumphantly and shouted,

"let's all cheer for ________!  he is the player of the month!"

followed by running over and giving the other child a pat on the back.

he truly celebrates the victory of others with no jealousy or selfishness...

i could take a lesson from my little boy.

he continues to amaze me with his reading,

which has spilled over into being a great little speller, too.

math and comprehension continue to be challenging for him,

along with anything fine motor.

and he would rather poke his eyes out than do art or work on his handwriting.

we are grateful he has so many teachers at school who love him and push him to do his best, 

even when it's hard.

he loves anything electronic, and has an amazing ability to navigate games.

he recently decided he wanted to email his teacher, so he got on the internet and found his school on google.  he then went to the staff page and found his teacher and sent her an email.  

yep... if he wants to do it, there is nothing stopping him.

he isn't inhibited by shyness or self-consciousness.

he has a very definite understanding of what he likes and doesn't like.

he is scared of the unknown.

he loves to play with his sisters, but they can also drive him totally cuckoo.

he is happiest when he is listening to music or reading a book.

he loves his nintendo ds. cliff z bars. riding his bike. or his scooter. captain underpants books. wreck it ralph. going to church. oreos and chocolate chip cookies. his 'vans off the wall'. the rockharbor worship cds. perry the platypus. his blankets. the ocean. disneyland. chocolate milk. his action bible. chips and guacamole. the swings. music. swimming. anything with an 'on' switch. reading. his teachers. riding in 'the black car'. his sisters. maps. cats. 

he does not like brushing his teeth.  or having his hair washed. homework. his sisters' singing. art or writing. new things. bananas or yogurt (and having anyone in the same room as him eat them). change. 

jackson is brave.

jackson is obedient.

jackson is confident.

jackson is compassionate.

jackson is intelligent.

jackson is joyful.

i am so grateful that god chose me to be his mommy.

at just seven little years old 

he teaches me so much about compassion, generosity, humbleness, and hard work.

jackson orian....

you bring joy and light to the world,

and we love you so very much.

you changed my life.
thank you.

my baby's a big girl

february sneaks up on me.

the busy holidays, adjusting to the new year, and then 

BAM!

february.

charlotte's birthday.

three.

3.

THREE.

today my baby is three.

a big girl.

i feel myself desperately trying to stop the relentless marching forward of time.

holding onto every little moment.

making effort to remember her exactly as she is right now.

but i forget.

i watch videos from just a year ago,

and can't believe that was her.

it's a mean, mean trick.

so i decided to just sit and capture 15 minutes of charlotte.

her faces,

her expressions.

her.  

right now.  today. so if i forget, i can look back and remember.

i love every single one of them.

(after a few minutes, she insisted on having her piggies out and her sweater off :)

at three years old,

charlotte monroe is the definition of life.

she is hilarious, filling our days with laughter.

she is passionate, caring, determined, friendly...

and kinda crazy.

she still loves mermaid, but allows other princesses into her heart, too.

she would trade every meal for a slice of cheese ("cheesy"),

and insists on an audience every time she uses the bathroom.

charlotte loves her brother and sister. 

fiercely.  

and wants nothing more than to be doing exactly what they are.

if she could wear a 'beautiful' dress, rainboots, and heart-shaped sunglasses everyday, 

she would be a very happy little girl.  (and most days, she does).

she loves dresses. cheese. pink. her baby doll. its a small world. doc mcstuffins. doggies. bubble baths. peanut-butter-jelly. sofia the first. her rainboots. playing in the dirt. anything jackson and bella like. fruit snacks. nightgowns. headbands. anything tiny ('baby!'). coloring. ipads. blankets & pillows. dandelions. taylor swift. cutting things into little pieces. twirling. bubble baths. 

charlie-

i cannot tell you what joy you fill my heart with. 

you start each of my days saying "i dream about you mommy."

you insist on holding my hand with nothing else in it- just your hand in mine.

you love to just snuggle on the couch with me to "wach a show!"

i love our mornings, just you and me, and watching you grow into such a special little person.

you love with your whole heart and i hope you never stop.

you are brave, compassionate, and kind.

you have a heart full of generosity.

and you have the best hair i've ever seen.... i hardly ever brush it and it always looks amazing.

you, sweet girl, are a precious gift to everyone who knows you,

but mostly to me, since i get the special present of being your mommy.

happy birthday little one.

you will always be my baby.

charlotte 2 years old
charlotte 1 year old
charlotte birth

a firework

 right now, time and i are in a fight.

i feel like every time i blink, i open my eyes and it's a month later.

i mean, really.... november already?

how is that possible?

life feels like it is just swirling past me,

a list of un-checked to-dos and things i wish i could have done.

desperately trying to savor the moments with my children,

and yet i frequently end up cleaning instead of cuddling.

yup.  

i don't like time much.

today, especially, i feel it.

because just yesterday,

my life looked like this:

a brand-new baby girl in my arms,

tiny(ish) and helpless.

her entire life ahead of her.  and me.

(i had to post this picture. seriously.  do you see the rolls that little girl came out with? 

she is going to hate me someday for that one ;)

but today, i woke up to this:

five candles on her cake.

a big girl before me.

time... where have you gone?

that's not to say i want to go back...

i have five years of precious memories with this little girl,

and i absolutely adore who she is today.

but i sure wish i could slow things down.

freeze time for just a bit so i can take in every minute.

because this is one special little lady.

isabella kristan,

you are my little firework.

you shine and sparkle, dazzling everyone who meets you.

you absolutely light up my life.

you love dresses- especially ones that twirl. the color pink. your brother and sister. macaroni and cheese. drawing (which you have gotten so good at this year!). your scooter. anything that sparkles. roly-poly bugs. picking flowers. sugar, sugar and more sugar. snuggles. bubble baths. building sand castles. helping me cook. doc mcstuffins. disneyland. soft things. sticks. your 'kitty' boots. swimming. your long, 'rapunzel' hair. being in charge. the ipad. my little pony. babies. getting dirty. decorating. snacks. 

like a firework, you can also be, well, explosive.

you live life with passion.

when you don't like something, you REALLY don't like it.

such as:

anything tight.  seatbelt buckles. jackson calling you 'isabelly'. getting out of the bath. vegetables. pants.  getting in trouble. sharing. having your nails cut. shots. going potty. the dark. being told no.  and sometimes being told yes. cleaning up. being confined. going to bed. 

you are a lover of all animals.

if you see a dog, you MUST pet it.

this year you got your first pet that was all your own...

a hamster, and you loved her dearly.

(sadly... cupcake the hamster died,

and her sucessor, cotton candy, is now missing in our house somewhere.)

two months ago, 

you started school for the first time.

we are beyond proud of you-

you can already write all your letters and your numbers 1-10.

you are learning how to be a good friend and work hard.

it seems as though everyday you learn something new.

i love having discussions with you as you explore new vocabulary -

especially coming up with a word to describe your day other than 'good'.

you LOVE princesses.  right now your favorite is merida from brave.

you love playing dress-up but get really frustrated when the dresses are scratchy.  

being a princess is hard.

lately, i've been looking at you and just marveling.

you are a person.

no longer a toddler.

but a little girl,

full of thoughts, ideas, and opinions.

you are compassionate and kind.

funny and exuberant.

shy in new situations.

intelligent and intuitive.

strong and independent.

creative and competitive.

you are full of questions about life,

and you want to make the most of every minute.

you challenge me.

frustrate me.

encourage me.

motivate me.

day by day,

i can see more of the woman God is forming you to be.

being your mommy isn't always easy, but it's always good.

 i wouldn't take back a single moment with you,

and i love you beyond explanation.

exactly the way you are.

so time... just back up a bit, okay?

i don't want to rush past this.

because just yesterday,

she was a toddler, and then a three year old, a four year old, 

and now... 

a whole handful of fingers held up.

five.

5.

yep. five perfect, precious years.

keep shining brightly, little firework,

.....filling my life with oohs and aahs.

the last three+ weeks....

oh, i am behind.

so much has happened the past few weeks,

but i just haven't had the time to sit and tell you about it!

we've had a lot of wonderful friends & family come to visit.

here are some snapshots of our time together!

(otherwise known as the longest post ever!!!)

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first up...

jeff's parents came to visit march 18-21st.

while they were here, we found some groupons for a boat ride around balboa island.

it was a first for all of us and super fun!

after the boats we headed over to the beach for some playtime.

my kids could go to the beach everyday.

jackson discovered he could climb the hill and then jump off.

so big!

we loved having grandma and papa modesto here to visit!

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a few days later, jackson turned six years old!

we headed to disneyland to celebrate.

he was so surprised and excited to discover that 

gramma fresno, auntie stephanie, and baby macie were there too!

this little boy LOVES lightning mcqueen.  

he talks to him every time we see him.

i love that he believes this is the real lighting mcqueen :)

we got to do the phineas & ferb dance party twice that day!

jackson just LOVES dancing with the campfire girls... 

he definitely has a favorite one he wants to dance with every time we go :)

i love this.

charlotte spotting 'mermaid' in the parade.

i love this face.

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we had a great weekend celebrating jackson with family.

i got to take some six month photos of adorable macie that you can see here.

we even got to have a pizza party with almost all the cousins!

(we miss you, pinedos!)

aidan, liam, macie, oliver, & owen were all there.

so sweet seeing them all play together!

on monday the 26th, 

the heltons came back to town to play for the day.

by request we headed back to bruxie

and then out to fashion island.

the cousins loved exploring the koi ponds, pet store, and fountains.

(and i love all the free entertainment!)

the best part was the trolley ride!

 

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the next day was my birthday.

i celebrated by watching jackson's kindergarten music performance.

i love this little boy.

and i adore his singing!

here's a little video (captured by bella) of him singing :)

thanks for all the birthday love,

both on facebook & through texts & calls.

i felt very loved by everyone :)

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in the middle of all the busy-ness...

times like this are my favorite thing.

precious sisters reading books in jammies.

jackson reading his new chapter books by his book light.

 my baby girl reading books in her rain boots.

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the next weekend, 

some sweet friends from fresno came to visit.

taylor & michelle were students in the youth group and some of our favorite babysitters.

we have lots of great memories with these amazing girls!

we headed to downtown disney 

and then over to the beach.

they even gave jeff & i a date night.

heaven!!!

they also helped me wrangle kiddos for these pictures.

we had SO much fun with them!

*******************************************************************

after taylor & michelle left,

our sweet friends the sundgrens were in town for a trip to disneyland.

 it was fun to grab some dinner with them,

and then meet up for a disney parade a few days later.

we miss them!

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april 7th was our eleven year anniversary.

i adore this man.

we went to the $2 theater with the kids to see Beauty & the Beast 3D to celebrate

and then had a fun date night.

(thank you corrine for babysitting!!!)

i am one lucky girl.

****************************************************

the next morning was our first easter with ROCKHARBOR.

they view easter as a celebration,

and it was truly amazing.

the church spends the entire week before in prayer and praise.

thursday night i had the opportunity to take the kids and pray over the amphitheater.

at first, i was a bit skeptical as to how it was going to go, trying to legitimately pray with my 3 kids.

it ended up being such a sweet experience.

the kids took turns picking a seat in the amphitheater.  

we would then sing a praise song together,

and then each child would choose something about easter to pray for.

a few of our life group families & their kids joined with us.

i had to hold back tears as i listened to all three of my kids praying.

so precious.

so sunday morning came.

the service was unlike anything i have ever experienced before.

there was something so powerful about seeing thousands of people,

standing in the open air and praising our risen Lord.

without a ceiling, it just felt like the songs were going straight up to Him.

(which i know they always do, but there was just something about being in the open air

 that felt extra special.  i can't really explain it).

they had a performance that was so powerful it moved me to tears.

(i'm hoping they post a video soon so i can share it with you.)

it was just a very special morning to celebrate what Christ has done for all of us.

that afternoon,

we headed over to a friend's home with some other staff families.

it was a wonderful afternoon eating yummy food and having great conversations.

the kids were big fans of the easter egg hunt!

you gotta love this chocolate & jellybean covered face!

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this past monday morning started spring break!

we headed to the beach for some much needed family time.

i just love watching my family play together.

and jeff is such a wonderful daddy.

because we are crazy,

we went home, showered, and then headed over to disneyland 

to see fantasmic.

while we were there, jackson lost his first tooth!

a very fun start to spring break :)

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today it is raining.

we are still in our jammies,

and i think it's going to stay that way!

we need a down day...

i foresee lots of snuggles, books, and some cookies today!

i think i'll be 'unplugging' for a few days.

we know we are so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family,

both here and far away.

we love getting to spend time with the important people in our lives.

but i also love special moments with my three littles and super wonderful hubby.

i'm off to start a pillow fight!!!