This made my heart happy

We were eating our lunch today when I asked Jackson about God. This is what happened.

Pretty much just made my day :)

posted by shara

Less than a month....

It has been a long time. A ridiculously long time. The difficult thing about not blogging for an extended period of time is that you just don't know how to put your foot back in. There have been plenty of things to write about, but then I just get so overwhelmed with the sheer number of things to say that I don't say anything at all.

Well, I am putting my foot back in the blogging pool. No longer will I sit on the side of my

friend's blogs with the words "5 months ago" underneath, mocking me.

Our last post told you that we were having our 3rd baby. Needless to say, a lot has happened since then. We are now less than a month from meeting our little girl.

Charlotte Monroe is scheduled to arrive by c-section in 29 days on February 10th. I am currently 35 weeks along. At 28 weeks we had the opportunity to sneak a peek at our little girl in 4D.

It was amazing to see her move, suck her thumb, and grab her little feet. She already had hair and chubby little cheeks. Our guess is that she is going to look a lot like her big sister, who we think is pretty cute. For now, she is a busy little bundle inside her mommy's tummy. Well, maybe not a little bundle. My tummy has gotten quite big!

Jackson & Isabella are so excited about the baby, although I don't really think they know what is actually happening. Bella loves to pull my shirt up to "see" Baby Charlotte. Jackson tells us every time we drive by the hospital that "that is where Baby Charlotte comes out of Mommy's tummy". They both love to hug & kiss my tummy, or just give it little pats. (Although they have also stepped, jumped, and pushed on it too!) Bella got lots of new baby gear for Christmas, so they have been practicing with swings, strollers, & giving binkies....although I'm not sure a real baby would be safe with either of them doing those things! In anticipation of Charlotte's arrival, we moved Jackson & Bella into a room together, which they love. As much as it is going

to rock their little worlds, I know they are going to love her and be so good with her. I can't wait to see all 3 of them together.

Did I mention that Jeff is amazing? I am so lucky to be married to a man that loves me and takes such good care of me. Whether it is helping with the kids, picking things up so I don't have to bend down, or making me whatever food is calling my name... he is just wonderful. I love watching him be a daddy.... God made him for it. It will be fun to see him with a little one again.

Since I am writing this post at 4:45 in the morning, you can probably guess that I am ready for our baby girl to arrive. I am terrified, excited, anxious, unprepared, and overwhelmed at the idea of a 3rd child. (But mostly excited!) There are days when I feel like I am over my head with 2 kids. How will I manage 3? I feel like my list of "to-do's" is a mile long and every time I cross something off the list, I add two more things. But regardless of how ready I think I am, at the end of the day, all that matters is a healthy little baby being born. The rest will take care of itself.

As I write, Charlotte is busy moving around in my tummy. It never ceases to amaze me how God decided to allow new life to happen. To know that this is the last time I will ever experience another person growing inside me.... I am trying to just enjoy and be thankful for every minute. Which, when my back hurts, or I can't sleep, or I'm using the bathroom for the 79th time that night, can be hard to do. But I am so incredibly grateful. I have watched life be taken away from precious friends, or never given at all, and I keep waiting for it to be my turn. For God to decide that I do not deserve to be a mommy again. For something to happen to this little one. I have a hard time understanding why He is allowing us to have a 3rd child when others can't have any at all. Sometimes the guilt is overwhelming.

The truth is that I will never know why things happen, but I do trust in a God that is sovereign. And He has given us this little life. I am thankful. I am excited. I cannot wait to meet her, to hold her, to introduce her to her daddy and her big brother and sister.

I promise to be the best mommy that I can to you, sweet Charlotte.

I hope the next 29 days go quickly.

posted by Shara

photos by the amazing Cori Derksen at www.derksenphotography.com