my baby's a big girl

february sneaks up on me.

the busy holidays, adjusting to the new year, and then 

BAM!

february.

charlotte's birthday.

three.

3.

THREE.

today my baby is three.

a big girl.

i feel myself desperately trying to stop the relentless marching forward of time.

holding onto every little moment.

making effort to remember her exactly as she is right now.

but i forget.

i watch videos from just a year ago,

and can't believe that was her.

it's a mean, mean trick.

so i decided to just sit and capture 15 minutes of charlotte.

her faces,

her expressions.

her.  

right now.  today. so if i forget, i can look back and remember.

i love every single one of them.

(after a few minutes, she insisted on having her piggies out and her sweater off :)

at three years old,

charlotte monroe is the definition of life.

she is hilarious, filling our days with laughter.

she is passionate, caring, determined, friendly...

and kinda crazy.

she still loves mermaid, but allows other princesses into her heart, too.

she would trade every meal for a slice of cheese ("cheesy"),

and insists on an audience every time she uses the bathroom.

charlotte loves her brother and sister. 

fiercely.  

and wants nothing more than to be doing exactly what they are.

if she could wear a 'beautiful' dress, rainboots, and heart-shaped sunglasses everyday, 

she would be a very happy little girl.  (and most days, she does).

she loves dresses. cheese. pink. her baby doll. its a small world. doc mcstuffins. doggies. bubble baths. peanut-butter-jelly. sofia the first. her rainboots. playing in the dirt. anything jackson and bella like. fruit snacks. nightgowns. headbands. anything tiny ('baby!'). coloring. ipads. blankets & pillows. dandelions. taylor swift. cutting things into little pieces. twirling. bubble baths. 

charlie-

i cannot tell you what joy you fill my heart with. 

you start each of my days saying "i dream about you mommy."

you insist on holding my hand with nothing else in it- just your hand in mine.

you love to just snuggle on the couch with me to "wach a show!"

i love our mornings, just you and me, and watching you grow into such a special little person.

you love with your whole heart and i hope you never stop.

you are brave, compassionate, and kind.

you have a heart full of generosity.

and you have the best hair i've ever seen.... i hardly ever brush it and it always looks amazing.

you, sweet girl, are a precious gift to everyone who knows you,

but mostly to me, since i get the special present of being your mommy.

happy birthday little one.

you will always be my baby.

charlotte 2 years old
charlotte 1 year old
charlotte birth

first days.

i seriously don't know where my summer went.

it feels like school just got out and now

BAM

 it's september again.

funny how during the summer, school sounds pretty awesome.

and then all of the sudden, it's the day before, 

and all you want is for summer to keep going 

so you can keep your kids home with you.

this year was big for us.

jackson is starting first grade- 

which means he's there all.day.long.

and isabella is starting preschool.

two kids at school.

one at home.

crazy.

i admit that i was beginning to have some anxiety about school.

last year was pretty rough for jackson,

and being at a new school,

i was afraid of repeating last year's experiences.

then i remembered how awesome god is,

and how he took care of us finding this house.

so instead of worrying,

i just prayed for my kids.

for their teachers, their friends, their education.

that god would have his hand of protection over both of them

as they started these new chapters in their lives.

i am so grateful to say that both kids had awesome first days.

big smiles going in and coming out.

awesome teachers that greeted them with handshakes and kind words.

my mommy heart is so happy.

jackson started on wednesday.

he was a little nervous as we waited in line, but no tears.

then his new teacher, mrs. garcia, came out to meet each child.

i literally almost cried as jackson happily met his teacher-

such a difference from last year.

he was so excited to find his desk with his name on it! 

he sits at the 'south america' table.

he sits across from owen, who (apparently) is his best friend.

sounds good to me.

all smiles!

a bit nervous as he waved goodbye, but he did great.

we already love mrs. garcia!

yesterday, bella just had a one-hour orientation with kids and parents,

so today was her official first day.

she's going into the transitional kindergarten program.

the state is moving back the deadline for entering kindergarten one month

 for the next few years.  

(so this year it went from december back to november 1st, and eventually it will be september 1st).

for all the kiddos that fall in the time that got cut-off (i.e. nov 2nd-dec 5)

they are offering a transitional kindergarten class- 

basically two years of kindergarten. or preschool.

however you want to say it- she gets free school this year.

and that is my favorite price.

this little girl is SO ready for school.

she has wanted to go for awhile, and it just didn't work out for our family.

she seemed a little nervous on tuesday night,

but after our orientation on wednesday,

she was just plain excited.

today she basically skipped into class,

a huge smile on her face.

(did you happen to notice that the kids are at different schools?  

that are, like, 20 minutes apart.  

and both start at 8:00am? 

 insert total crazy mornings here)

charlotte insisted on wearing her backpack and hanging it up with the other kids'. 

 her teacher, mrs. w, wrote the pilot for transitional kindergarten

and seems totally awesome.

bella already loves her.

she has also asked to be called 'isabella' now.

what a big girl.

i am so grateful for these past two days

and how god has (once again) faithfully answered our prayers.

i am confident that we have teachers who will love our children

and seek to advocate for and teach them the best they can.

we continue to believe that we are called to partner with teachers to work together 

in order to best serve our children.

i am praying for a great year.

the person having the hardest time is little charlotte.

she is both angry at being left out

and sad while missing her siblings.

she has insisted on bringing her backpack with her to drop-off and pick-up each day.

i love this little girl.

and i am happy she still has a few years to go with me.

i still can't believe i have two kids in school.

and that one is in first grade- that feels so old!

i guess we officially are not 'new parents' any more.

everyday i realize more and more 

the importance of praying for my children.

my tendency is to worry and try to do things myself,

but i continue to realize that i absolutely cannot do this on my own.

i pray for their hearts, their futures, their friendships, their health,

and that someday soon they'll ask jesus into their hearts.

it's hard to believe that anyone loves these little people more than i do.

and i'm so glad that the guy who does has them right in His hands.

celebrating his last day

this is a boy who finished kindergarten today!

whoo hoo!

(and thank you, irvine, for the crazy-late last day, right?  most kids are already half-done with summer by now!)

i can't say kindergarten has been an easy year.

there were many days jackson did not want to go,

and it definitely did not live up to the visions i had in my head.

but to say i'm proud of this little boy would be the understatement of the year.

(holding his picture from the first day of school)

jackson entered kindergarten barely writing his name.

now he is writing multiple sentences.

he entered kindergarten counting to twenty.

now he's counting to over 100.  and adding numbers together.

there is not a day that goes by that this sweet kid doesn't amaze me.

with his super-smart brain.

his kind heart.

and his perseverance despite things being difficult.

we felt like today was a day to celebrate.

last week, cars land opened at california adventures.

if you know jackson, you know there are a few things he loves.

and when i say love, i mean love.

(let's be honest.  he is high-functioning autistic.   so love = obsession)

fountains. electronics.... and cars.

for the last four years, 

we have lived and breathed cars in our house.

so when he found out there was going to be a CARS LAND....

 oh man.

he knew it opened on june 15th.

but we were not going to submit ourselves to opening day madness.

we gave him a lot of reasons why we had to wait,

and convinced him we would go in july.

tricky mommy & daddy!

we picked him up from school today

with a new cars t-shirt and no sisters.

just us. 

just him.

ready to experience something we had dreamed about,

talked about, and watched many you-tube videos about.

you would think he would have been over-the-moon excited,

but in truth...

he was kinda a nervous wreck.

first... he does not like the unknown.

it makes him super anxious.

and... there were a lot of people.

and...this was big.  really big for him.  

probably like if i got to go on the set of my favorite tv show or something.

maybe bigger.

he was actually going to go INTO RADIATOR SPRINGS.

friends...

it is amazing.

like, i actually found myself crying walking down the street.

it was like they had taken the movie and plopped it down in the center of california adventures.

(and added a billion human tourists, btw)

like i said... we have lived cars in our house for years now.

so this also held a lot of significance for us.

and it totally lived up to all the hype in my head.

so here are some pics from our time today.

just a few hours, but they really are memories i'll have forever.

experiencing this adventure with my sweet little boy for the first time.

his little hand in mine.

his giant smile when he saw lighting mcqueen driving down the street.

his anxiety before he rode a new ride.

his joy as he rode on his daddy's shoulders and drank his very own sprite that he didn't have to share with his sisters.

it was a good day.

 a really good day.

he was very excited to see the pixar parade, too.

it is super fantastic!

(minus their need to squirt water out of every.single.float.)

he was SO nervous about riding radiator springs racers.

he was terrified that it would be a fast ride, and was in tears as we got on.

but that ride is absolutely amazing.

the best ride at disneyland.

i think he liked it, too.

thumbs up for surviving a new ride!

my jackson orian.

today we celebrate you.

life is not always easy.

but you keep trying.

you teach me to find joy in the little things.

and to work hard, even when life is difficult.

i am so proud to be your mommy.

and i can't believe you are a big first grader now.

let's enjoy the summer first, shall we?