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i like to have my life together.
i love to check off my lists.
have everything clean, organized, and in control.
mess, dirt, and disorganization drive me cuckoo.
yesterday, one of the girls i work with said something about me having it all together.
i laughed out loud.
of course, i love to LOOK like i have it all together.
house clean.
kids dressed cute.
work finished.
showered.
the truth is... this is rarely the case.
more often than not, my life feels like a dirty, chaotic mess.
within moments of the kids waking up, the house turns into a tornado of toys, food crumbs, and screaming.
it can feel like groundhogs day around here.
pick up toys.
sweep up meal off floor.
load/unload the dishwasher.
run the laundry.
repeat, repeat, repeat.
and then it's lunchtime.
i have no idea how to actually clean my house.
the dust gets thicker on my furniture.
the mold gets, um, moldier in my shower.
and my floor... i don't even know what's on it anymore.
all my effort goes into simply just trying to get things picked up.
the truth is...
i'm exhausted.
my house is dirty.
i haven't showered today... in fact, i'm still in my pajamas with my teeth unbrushed.
if i have to pick up one more toy today, i think i might scream.
i try to come up with fun activities to do with my kids, only to have them fighting and creating even more of a mess.
if i spend the time cleaning, i'm ignoring my kids.
if i focus on my kids... my house needs to be condemned.
sigh.
sometimes the balance of being a mom, working part time, and maintaining a household feels like an unclimbable mountain.
a box that can never really be checked off.
a job that is never completed.
i love being a mom.
i enjoy my job.
i love having a clean home.
but today.... i just can't quite figure out how to make it all work.
here is my life, at this moment....
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| messy kitchen |
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| toys everywhere.... through the entire house |
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| no beds made |
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| stuff to put away everywhere |
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| a sink full of dishes |
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| piles of things to file |
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| filing, crafts, and misc items all waiting for a home |
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| bella jumping on the couch even though she's already received 3 time-outs today |
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| charlotte telling me 'NA!' when i won't let her play with the remote |
luckily, today is just one day.
i'm going to play another game of hi-ho-cherry-o with my kids,
and pick it all up when they go to bed.
and pick it all up when they go to bed.
and tomorrow, maybe, i'll have things 'all together'.
or at the very least, take a shower.
You seem to be able to sum it up so well in words. I read this and smiled. It is all true and then you wake up and try to do it all over again the next day. :)
ReplyDeleteMy sweet Shara...I so appreciate this post. I thought that when my kiddos grew, the chaos would lessen. I thought I had begun to "get a grip" on it all: the routine, the kids, my hubby ('cause he adds to the chaos too :-) ) when suddenly Gracie came into our lives and messed it all up again.
ReplyDeleteThen I realized that all too soon the chaos will be gone because the kids are growing up way to fast. When they are gone, their mess is gone...and that phase of life is over.
So, soak up the chaos...embrace the mess. I made a sign: "Please forgive out mess. A whole lot of living goes on here."
I love you. I feel like that without kids...I'm totally screwed when tiny people join the Petrie home!!! This post is one of the many reasons why I admire, respect and appreciate about you and why you are the gal I want to look up to. :)
ReplyDeleteLove,
Ems
Shara - YOU are an awesome mom! I feel a lot like you do on most days. I too, love to LOOK like I have it all together, but I don't...just open one closet and you will see the truth. xoxo, Lauri Martin
ReplyDeleteYou're a great mom! 15 years from now you will be sitting in a clean house remembering the game you played with your tiny children and missing that precious moment. :) They grow so quickly, their messes become more managable, and they'll demand less time from you (yet need more money). From one neat freak to another, I am so thankful for the time I spent home schooling, game playing, puddle splashing, and book reading instead of obsessively cleaning. Now that they are grown (for the most part), I have an abundance of precious memories and a clean house (for the most part). I love the Bachmans!
ReplyDeleteMy house is clean, no toys, dishes washed, beds made. Oh how I am loving watching Jed and seeing him begin to crawl. I know the tornado is coming . . . and I can't wait! Of course, I do get to send him home at night. Love you Shara . . . you and Jeff are amazing parents!!
ReplyDelete