emmanuel

last night i had the opportunity to attend an amazing night at church.

tasty food, fun people, swanky decor.

the main event was a christmas together concert by various artists, 

including tyrone wells. 

(insert my hubby's smiley face here)

it was super fantastic.

just what i needed to jump feet-first into the christmas spirit.

one of the artists, tim timmons (who was wonderful) 

said something that so impacted me.

made me think.

all day today.

(and hopefully tomorrow and beyond)

he was talking about 'emmanuel- god with us'

a name we use a lot this holiday season.

what he said was

"what if we lived like 'emmanuel' was true.  like god is really with us."

i think it hit me so hard,

because the reality is...

too often, i think of Him more as "god-with-me-sometimes-maybe".

i want to live like god is WITH me.  every second of every moment of every day.

but that means work.

and relationship.

i have had a lot of time to think about relationships.

it has been interesting moving to a new city and being unable to see fresno friends.

whether you like it or not...

relationships change.

if you don't see someone, talk to them, know what is going on in their life...

it is hard to really have a relationship that matters.

it has been hard to see friendships that mean so much to me

become more and more difficult to maintain.

not because i don't adore the person,

but because the time is not there to invest anymore.

we don't see each other = we are no longer know what is happening below the surface.

real relationship.

i think my relationship with God can become like that.

i sit here and expect him to make all the moves.

so if i don't 'feel' Him... that must mean He isn't present.

that is not truth.

God is with me.  

but am i with Him?

relationships are a two-way street.

friendships (sadly) can fluctuate based on people's lives, schedules, locations & circumstances.

i am so thankful that my relationship with Jesus does not.

He is always there.

He is always ready.

He is faithful, even when i put every other thing in front of Him.

He forgives me every time.

if i want to truly experience emmanuel,

i need to be open,

ready,

here.

just like my human friendships,

i need to talk to Him.

love Him.

look to Him.

trust Him.

give Him the time He deserves.

i have never been great at friendships.

i always feel like i could do more, be more, for people.

i am working on it.

making more of an effort.

trying to put myself out there with people.

how much more should i be willing to do that for my Savior?

the God of all creation that became flesh, just for me?

the One who laid down his life, so that i might live with Him forever?

i am so thankful for a God who is with me.

for this season to remember who He is and what He has done.

and i want to live 

every day

like 'emmanuel'.