Tuesday, June 26, 2012

what can I do?

i seem to think pretty highly of myself.
because when any sort of problem comes,
who do i look to?
me.

i can fix it.
i can do it best.
i can handle it.

most of the time,
i am so sadly mistaken.

i continue to pile myself with burdens that are beyond me-
leaving me weary,
discouraged,
and feeling hopeless.

this is not the type of life that god wants for me.
and he never asked for me to do it all myself.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God,   
the Creator of the ends of the earth. 
He will not grow tired or weary,and his understanding no one can fathom. 
 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;  but those who      hope in the LORD    will renew their strength. 
They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary;  
they will walk and not be faint. 
-isaiah 40:28-31

two days ago, we received an email from our landlords
letting us know the owners are selling our home and we need to move.
we had just decided the best decision for our family was to stay here one more year.
moving just seemed too daunting a task in the midst of our over-busy lives.
looking at a calendar, we realized we had mere weeks to figure it all out.

i immediately transitioned into 'i' mode.
"i need to go home and get on craigslist"
"i need to start sorting things tonight"
"i need to start figuring out childcare"
"i need to find boxes.  change our address. figure out new schools"
"i need to figure out how to pay for moving expenses"
"how am i going to be able to find us a place in the right neighborhood?"

"i can't do this"

i found myself entering into a place of being overwhelmed and anxious.
and then i heard it.
a voice in my head, over and over.
"YOU can't do it.  but I can.  I am doing something.  trust ME."

moving my family in the next three weeks feels impossible for me.
but obviously god is doing something that is making us move.
i don't know what it is, but i know that he has good things for us.

i need to fully trust and believe that the god who created the universe
can also find me a place for my family to live.
the truth is that I cannot do this.
it is too much.
but He most certainly can.

we have under three weeks to find a home, pack everything, and move.
everything in me wants to take over.
but i am desperately trying to allow god to do his work,
so that he might be glorified in this.
i believe that he cares about every detail of our lives,
and desires to be intimately involved.

so god.... we are trusting you.
we know you are doing something in our little family's lives.
help me to submit to you,
and allow you to be my strength in a season of craziness.
i can't wait to see what YOU can do.

1 comment:

  1. I can't wait to see how God blesses your family with just the right home, in just the right city, with the right neighbors for your fam to love on...

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