thirty-three

there's a little game i play in my head a lot.

it's the ' _____ time ago i was doing __________.'

for instance, on friday at 7:30am, i thought

'six years ago, i was climbing onto an operating table to meet my first child.'

this last year, i've played the game in my head a lot.

and it usually starts with

'a year ago i was in fresno and _________.'

today is my thirty-third birthday.

i woke up this morning thinking about a year ago today.

i thought about what i wanted, hoped for, and wished would change.

something was stirring in my heart.

i remember feeling like i was standing on the edge of something,

but i wasn't sure what it was.

amazing how different our lives can look a year later.

so much of my life is different from a year ago.

of course, there is the obvious location change,

and the unending list of differences that has caused.

(house, job, church, friends... but you've already heard about all that ;)

this last year has also given me a child in kindergarten.

no longer working at a 'real job'. 

a change in diet and exercise.

the beginning of bachmanville photography (yay!).

sure, lots of my life circumstances are different from a year ago.

but what is most amazing to me is the change in me.

God has done big things in my life this year.

i have experienced him in so many new ways.

he has shown me a lot of areas i need to grow in,

while also comforting, encouraging, and supporting me.

he has proven himself as my provider, my redeemer, and my hope.

i am not the same woman as i was one year ago today.

hopefully i am closer (but surely still a LONG way off) to being who God wants me to be.

one thing this year has shown me

is how desperately i need God

and how he is always there,

in every circumstance.

so here i stand on the edge of thirty-three.

one thing i am certain of after 32, 

is that i have no idea what is ahead.

but i know that my God is faithful.

and i trust it will be good.

not always easy, but good.

and that is all i need to know.

hello, 33.

nice to meet you.

i think we are going to be friends.

(as always, impossible to get 3 kids looking, let alone smiling, at once ;)